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Glossary entry

Italiano term or phrase:

tracciava le sue orbite;

Inglese translation:

followed our own orbits;

Added to glossary by Lara Barnett
Dec 13, 2017 12:33
6 yrs ago
2 viewers *
Italiano term

tracciava le sue orbite;

Da Italiano a Inglese Arte/Letteratura Generale/Conversazioni/Auguri/Lettere Character-based fiction
I am not sure if "orbit" works here, and if it does I need a way to fit into the structure. This character is currently on tour doing a Greek play in Syracuse and while he spends his evenings full of life in the chorus during performances, he locks himself up in his apartment all day refusing to mix with the rest of the cast.

Il perimetro dell’appartamento segnava i confini del mio microunivesro. All’interno ognuno di noi tracciava le sue orbite; orbite che si incrociavano in un moto armonico.
Proposed translations (Inglese)
3 +2 followed our own orbits;
5 each of us follows our own paths like planets in orbit that cross each other in harmonious motion.
Votes to reclassify question as PRO/non-PRO:

Non-PRO (2): Rachel Fell, philgoddard

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Discussion

James (Jim) Davis Dec 13, 2017:
True But you would need to try them out on a good sample of people who have no knowledge of Italian and see what reception they get. Our problem is that we know the Italian so well so our judgement is tainted.
philgoddard Dec 13, 2017:
The wonderful thing about language is that you can say things that haven't been said before, and don't get Google hits, yet they still make perfect sense :-)
Patrick Hopkins Dec 13, 2017:
Two parts to focus on IMHO there are two parts in this phrase to focus on:

1. Tracciava: easily translated into trace, and it would even be understandable in the context of an orbit (as we usually see them drawn on images), but in my opinion not the best word here. More appropriate "follow" as planets follow an orbit or orbital path.

2. Orbit: the word is most commonly used for celestial bodies and by extension spheres of influence (both celestial and earthly, i.e., within the orbit of a subject of interest that influences other bodies/people). However, it also means the course of one's life or activities and in context requires no explanation (no need for "like a planet").

Thus my answer "followed our own orbits". Given the context, the meanings of the words, the image of an orbit that we all understand, and the common use of "following a path" or "following an orbital path" or similar I think there is no need for further explanation of the image being conveyed.
James (Jim) Davis Dec 13, 2017:
@Phil Are you sure. My opinion was it was unacceptable. Empirical evidence seems to back me up.
https://www.google.co.uk/search?num=50&source=hp&ei=PXAxWv6W...
Nobody would seem to have written "followed our orbits" either, which confirms my instincts.
https://www.google.co.uk/search?num=50&ei=TnAxWvuANILG0gTU17...
philgoddard Dec 13, 2017:
I'm afraid I'm voting it non-pro. I feel a straightforward, literal translation works fine - even "traced" is OK.
James (Jim) Davis Dec 13, 2017:
@Phil Good question. However, to lock yourself up in your own flat suggests being alone. I think "ogni uno di noi" refers to each of us alone in our own "micro-universe" but of course that is interpretation and I'm in danger of "reading things in to it".
James (Jim) Davis Dec 13, 2017:
Voting non-pro This is very easy to understand, but difficult to translate. I would disagree with one translation posted, and my own post has been criticised by a highly experienced and reputable translator. So I feel that anybody who wishes to vote non-pro should first post a good answer it it is so easy ;-). A good translation should fit well into the novel and make good reading which the Italian original clearly does.
philgoddard Dec 13, 2017:
I assume there are other people in the apartment, since it says "ognuno di noi".

Proposed translations

+2
5 min
Selected

followed our own orbits;

Orbits is fine.

Within this universe each of us followed our own orbits; orbits that intersected...

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 4 hrs (2017-12-13 17:15:45 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

Re the word "ORBIT": it is not only used for celestial bodies (like planets). It is commonly used for people too. See

http://www.dictionary.com/browse/orbit

Second definition: the usual course of one's life or range of one's activities.

Peer comment(s):
agree Anthony Mazzorana (X)
4 ore
agree philgoddard : You could avoid repeating "orbits" by saying something like "we followed our own harmoniously intersecting orbits".
4 ore
neutral James (Jim) Davis : @Phil this saying about a person who "traccie le sue orbite" is just not used at all in English. See my discussion links.
6 ore
Something went wrong...
4 KudoZ points awarded for this answer.
4 ore
Italiano term (edited): ognuno di noi tracciava le sue orbite; orbite che si incrociavano in un moto armonico.

each of us follows our own paths like planets in orbit that cross each other in harmonious motion.

You can't trace your own orbit in English because it sounds as if you are skething your eyeball. At the same time there is a clear metaphor here of the famous harmonious motion of the planets, although the music has always escaped me in the silence of the night sky.
So just translate the whole sentence instead of the words.
"Within which each of us follows our own paths like planets in orbit that cross each other in harmonious motion."
All’interno ognuno di noi tracciava le sue orbite; orbite che si incrociavano in un moto armonico.
Peer comment(s):
neutral philgoddard : I think this is overtranslation. You don't need to explain the metaphor by saying "planets".//Patrick's answer is fine. I don't agree that it sounds unnatural.
7 min
Well Phil IMHO a) to say follow or trace your orbit, sounds unnatural and is unacceptable. b) Is there better way of doing it which does not "overtranslate" that maintains the metaphor? Please post :-). Better to overtranslate that to lose in translation
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